You Had Me At High Speed

So Beth and I had this great idea to start a blog as a way to share photos and family stuff with all the family and friends we have around the world. Sounded like a great idea. The only problem is that we would have had to hire someone full time to post the pictures, etc that we wanted to post. Our dial-up connection, although fast for dial-up, was incredibly slow when it came to uploading and updating our blog. So the blog went by the wayside. One post, one follower. Maybe one day we can finally figure out a way to upload things and update things faster. But how? Do they have something faster than dial-up?

Then we found it. High speed internet. Oh wow. It's not the fastest thing out there, but it is waaaaay faster than dial-up. I have had to work on time management now. I don't know when I'll find time to do all the stuff I used to do while waiting for the page to load or the photo to download or upload. But, you know, what a great problem to have! This high speed thing is incredible! The first night I just loaded page after page watching the speed. Admiring the speed. Fearing the speed.

The next day I told a couple of my co-workers about the great blessing that had been bestowed on me and my family - this wonderful lady, High Speed. I was met with bewildered looks and rolling eyes. A few smirked and a couple actually LOLed. Were these barbarians scoffing at the idea of high speed? I began to feel a little like Galileo when he KNEW the world was round, yet was laughed at by every other scientist and astronomer. I began to feel like the guy who picked Stanford over USC! We all know how that one worked out. Maybe my skeptical friends just needed a demonstration of the awesome power of high speed. Maybe seeing would be believing for them. Maybe I could help a few weary dial-up travelers on their journey to information overload. I relished the thought that I could be chosen for such a daunting task - to tell the world of high speed internet access. I felt a sense of pride with a dash of inadequacy. Could I be a hero?

Then some friends swallowed their laughter and smiled that smile. You know the one. The one parents give their son when he tries to glue the crayons he broke back together. The smile people give an elderly gentleman who holds the door for his lovely wife. The smile people give hapless Buccaneer fans as they scurry on their way toward a 1 and 15 season. That smile that says, 'How cute is that?' I was made painfully aware that people have been blogging and uploading and downloading and updating and posting at high speeds for months. Years, even. Dial-up was a thing of the past. High speed wasn't even the fastest thing out there anymore. Now they had FIOS, which could move faster than high speed but wasn't allowed to cross the street. Those looks of bewilderment and rolling eyes weren't from scoffers. They were from pitiers,. They were looks that said, 'Oh look at the cute almost middle-aged man who was stuck on the wrong speed. How cute is that?'

That was not what was supposed to happen. That was not in the script. I was the hero. I was the prophet of high speed. I was....

I was finally welcomed to the 21st century. Oh high speed. Where have you been all my life? Apparently every where but my house.