The Ghosts of New Years' Past

So I made a couple of resolutions this year. Now, I don't call them "resolutions". I make it sound spiritual. I even told my Sunday School class - they aren't resolutions because we always break resolutions. Resolutions are contingent upon what I do and I just don't have it in me. The flesh is weak. You know. I don't even call them commitments to Christ. That's just way too man-centered (I say to myself in my best pious voice - kind of with an English accent) and man-centered just isn't how I want to portray myself.

I call them "areas of my life that I have surrendered to God afresh and anew." If I surrender to God it's He who does the work in my life not me who does the work while attributing the credit (maybe) to God. Truthfully, I really do believe that's how it should be. If I'm to do the work, I don't. If I surrender and let Him do the work, He does. Of course, I have my part, you have your part, and God has His part. We all need to do our part - but ultimately if left up to me, at some point in time I will fail. I will not fulfill my commitment. And neither will you.

So this year, I put it all on the line. As I said, I told my Sunday School class not to resolve but to surrender! And surrender I did. But it was not an unconditional surrender. In fact, I really didn't even give up the fight. I just called it surrender so I wouldn't have to make a commitment to a battle I wouldn't win. I just called it surrender so I wouldn't have to fight the battle that needed (and needs) to be fought. I just called it surrender so I could keep fighting the battle I always fight - the one against the God to Whom I claimed to surrender.

Upon the realization that the areas I allegedly surrendered had not been surrendered at all a thought occurred to me. These same areas were things that have been committed to Christ before. They are the same things I resolved to stop or start in years previous. They are the ghosts of New Years' past.
 
Maybe it's the feeling in the pit of your stomach after remembering that you forgot to read your Bible this morning - or this week. It could be the guilt that comes from quick, habitual "devotions" that are intended to appease the guilt but instead they only bring awareness of a shallow walk with God. It's seeing your wife's face drawn taut as you realize that although she makes you want to be a better man you haven't wanted to be a better man bad enough to really do anything about it. It's the dejected look of your husband who, after years of being pounded by your lack of confidence in him and respect for him, struggles to please you. And deep down you know it's not him. It's the return of that sheriff that the shepherd shot so long ago. He keeps demanding justice from all who cross his path with no thought of mercy or grace. He'll run the house - and your life - if you let him. And he just keeps coming. Ghosts of New Years' past.

I Kings 20 speaks to this. Benhadad, the king of Syria, had Samaria under siege. He sent messengers with his demands. He wanted compromise. Ahab, king of Israel, was to give his wives, his children, his gold, and his silver to Benhadad and he consented. He compromised. No doubt it was a compromise few of us would make - especially when it concerns our family. But Ahab consented. Messengers came again saying that now they were going to take everything that Ahab held dear. Now I have no idea what he could have held dearer than his wives and children, but the point is this - if you compromise with the enemy he will take all. To Ahab's credit he drew the line here. He would not give Benhadad everything he desired.

A prophet came and told Ahab that he would be victorious. But he would have to fight the same king - Benhadad, king of Syria - in exactly one year. Ahab reluctantly led the young princes in to battle and was victorious. The pursued the Syrians all the way back to the Syrian city of Aphek. That sounds great, but it's not. Aphek may have been a Syrian city but it was within the borders of the ten northern tribes of Israel. Ahab didn't wipe out the enemy completely. He didn't pursue the enemy all the way back to Syria. He didn't even drive them out of his own country. And because of this he had to fight the same battle against the same king that he had defeated once before.

That sounds like the lives of many Christians that I know. Always fighting the same battles, always reclaiming the same surrendered ground, the pilgrim never making any real progress. They are haunted by the ghosts of New Years' past that have assembled at Aphek. That word - Aphek -  means "stronghold". There they stand throwing the same old weights and besetting sins at us year after year after year. And every year we resolve to tear down the stronghold. Or we commit to Christ that we will tear down the stronghold. Or we do what I claimed to do this year - we surrender to not even fighting the battle. We bury ourselves in books or business hoping to ignore the ghosts only to be pierced by the same fiery dart that got us last year.

So how do we win? How does that stronghold get torn down and destroyed? I mean, I've tried it all and so have you. We resolve, we commit, and when all else fails we surrender. What else can we do? We can yield. It's not a matter of surrender it's a matter of yielding. The battle isn't against God. The battle is over who I'm going to yield to.

"Neither yield ye your members as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin: but yield yourselves unto God, as those that are alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness unto God...Know ye not, that to whom ye yield yourselves servants to obey, his servants ye are to whom ye obey; whether of sin unto death, or of obedience unto righteousness? But God be thanked, that ye were the servants of sin, but ye have obeyed from the heart that form of doctrine which was delivered you. Being then made FREE from sin, ye became the servants of righteousness." Romans 6:13, 16-18

In yielding, I am victorious! No more resolutions. No more commitments. No more fighting the same battles year after year. Only victory. And freedom. "Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage." (Galatians 5:1). I'm free. Free in Christ. And free indeed!

I feel like William Wallace. Or those people who call the Dave Ramsey show after having paid off all their debt. FREEDOM!!!

But what about the ghosts? There's no such thing.